On the day that Keith was asked to consider the position in England, he was planning on coming home at lunch so that I could go to a meeting at Hannah's school and so he could go to an eye doctor appointment. Maybe I was distracted with thoughts of the meeting, or maybe he was really good at hiding how he was feeling, but I had no idea that our lives had been changed that morning. After his appointment, we were just piddling around the house, hanging out with the kids, and Keith says "Oh, by the way, Lesley [our sitter] will be here in an hour--I am taking you out to dinner." I will be honest. . .my first thought was how thoughtful and romantic that was. My second thought was, "Uh oh. . .it's the first of the year. . .he has been offered his next job and he wants to soften the blow with liquor." I didn't say anything, but when we got to the restaurant (Jonathon's), my suspicions were confirmed when instead of his favorite beer, a Black and Blue, Keith ordered a vodka tonic.
My sweet, thoughtful husband, who at this point had carried this news on his shoulders for about 7 hours, sat down across from me and I could see the weight of the day in his eyes. I know just how much he had struggled to digest and sort all that he had been told, and I know that he had been trying to figure out how best to share the news with me. He took a deep breath and said "This is really hard." (I asked him if I was going to have to go to the bathroom and cry). And then I just watched his mouth to see if it would form the "ruh" in Russia or the "ch" in China. I had been thinking over the past few months about how I would handle this moment. . .would I be strong. .would I wail. . .would I get up and walk away for a few minutes. . .would I say all the right things. .all the wrong things?
He told me about the position and who had been involved in the recommendation of him for the job. And then he took another deep breath and said that the job would be over two facilities in the UK. I took a deep breath and . . . then I can't remember the next few minutes very clearly! I will say that somewhere in the eruption of emotion was relief that I had seen his mouth form the "you" in UK. We started to talk--I did go to the bathroom to cry a little--and he got his laptop and we looked some things up. So we talked, we cried, we got a little tipsy. . .we went to Barnes and Noble to find a book. . .I am thinking there was a little shock mixed in there.
The first couple of days were pretty much a bust for anything else in our life; they were mostly filled with numbness, crying, insomnia, and lots of talking. Telling the girls and our families was the next hurdle. . .